


A Match, (Un)Planned

by HailSam



Series: Kingdom of Pelican Bay [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Farmertale, Horror needs Help, Horrortale Papyrus (Undertale), Horrortale Sans (Undertale), M/M, Memory Loss, Mpreg, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Skeleton Pregnancy (Undertale), you should know it'll happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailSam/pseuds/HailSam
Summary: Horror substitutes himself for his brother in an arranged marriage. Horror's been through something horrible, so being able to trust...well, it's an uphill battle.Crop just wants someone to spend time with, he didn't really mean to make them married.Something tells him going from married to friends to lovers isn't the steps meant to be taken, but play the cards you're dealt and all.
Relationships: Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Series: Kingdom of Pelican Bay [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701871
Comments: 108
Kudos: 195





	1. The (Disastrous) Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me:  
> https://twitter.com/sassyhaillive  
> https://www.pillowfort.social/HailSam  
> https://sassyhail.tumblr.com/
> 
> If you need on Pillowfort or even an invite here, let me know I'll help you out :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting is had...how bad is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanenna did this!! I swear!!!!!! Sending me buff Crop images!!!! XD

The moment Horror’s life changed for the worst was when Sugar was arranged to marry a neighboring Earl.

…that’s not entirely true.

The true change was during a skirmish in battle, during which Horror was violently knocked out and dragged to the enemy’s hiding hole. He experienced…so much there, so much torture that he had basically shut out over the year or two since it happened. The biggest thing he recalled was being violently punched over and over and over, until his skull started to splinter, until his pleads turned ragged and breathless from fighting so hard.

The healers said that he couldn’t recognize anyone within the first month, that he was skittish around loud noises. The only thing he finally remembered was Sugar taking up his hands, pleading with him to talk.

The lone red eye light left in his head had flickered before tears overtook him, and he collapsed, sobbing in his brother’s arms.

His father cared not for what he had been through. As the oldest, his fate was already planned: to become part of the Guard, and if that meant being abducted and tortured then so be it. He was violently opposed to the healers’ wishes that Horror be placed on bedrest, or even retirement, but when Horror ended up slumping to the ground and staring at the end of a sword with a blank face…well…the King had to concede some things at least.

Horror felt beyond useless, and their father didn’t hesitate to let him know so.

“The eldest,” the King would always start at breakfast, “should protect the kingdom. Now that you’re…disfigured,” he made a face and Horror felt the edges of the hole in his head pulse, “no family will dare to marry you for fear of ridicule. All you’ll be is an adviser, if that.”

“FATHER, PLEASE,” Sugar pleaded, and Horror twitched as he thought about the burden he brought onto his brother. As second heir, it was always known that Sugar would either inherit the kingdom should something happen to Horror, or he’d ‘tie alliances’ with another. Now that…things happened, well, it was a guessing game to which only their father knew the answer. “NOT TODAY, HE’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT.”

Yeah. A lot. Horror didn’t respond, his fingers trembling around the silver fork as he plunged it into a piece of chicken. It tasted like heavy lead in his mouth.

Ever since he’d been taken, food had lost interest, and he refused to tell them exactly why. He knew why. He just couldn’t face it.

Of course, none of this compared to the debacle that occurred when their father finally revealed their fates: Sugar would be wed to the neighboring Earl (of which neither of them knew much about), and Horror…

He…didn’t say.

He didn’t have to. Horror threw himself to the mercy of their father, clutching at Sugar’s shirt tightly with a grim expression. “L-Let me go, i-instead, Sugar can rule, he’s so smart…”

Sugar looked at him with panic in his eyes. He was afraid of being married, he didn’t want to move away, but he didn’t want his brother to give himself over either. “BROTHER, NO-!”

“I think that would be fine,” the King chuckled. “Would get your disfigured face away from us, and satisfy our obligations as well. Go and get dressed.”

And with that, his life changed.

He couldn’t even pack up his own things, the maids had to (not that they hadn’t before, for trips, but Horror felt like ever since he came back, everyone treated him like fragile glass). He sat on the chaise, staring at his hands, clothed in a simple light pink long sleeve tunic and long pants. Sugar sat beside him, sniffling, a hand on his arm. “BROTHER, YOU SHOULDN’T H-HAVE…”

“I did,” he mumbled, cupping his hand over Sugar’s and squeezing with a shaky smile. “Ya shouldn’t have ta go and marry some random guy…it ain’t a life for ya…”

Sugar shrugged. “IT’S ALWAYS BEEN IN THE CARDS…”

“Don’t matter,” he mumbled, letting his hand fall as he sighed tiredly. “Maybe he’ll get fed up with me, ship me back, heh.”

“BROTHER!” Sugar scolded. “YOU’RE AMAZING, WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?” Horror shrugged, looking away as Sugar sighed. “WELL, LET’S DRESS YOU UP NICELY AT LEAST! UM, F-FIRST IMPRESSIONS AND ALL!”

Trying to make a good out of a bad, that was Sugar, heh. Horror let him pull him up slowly, and as always, time passed in a flash. He hated losing time like that, it left him feeling groggy and out of place. Now he had the red velvet dress he cared for immensely, with black edging and ribbing, one of the straw hats he had to hide his hole tied on with a pretty dark green bow.

He looked elegant. Like a china doll waiting for someone to pick him up to play, as he shifted a bit on the stool in front of the mirror.

He felt an urge to sob, but pushed it down and away, instead, taking Sugar’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “Thanks. You know just what I like.”

Sugar smiled happily. “OF COURSE!”

He was shuffled into a carriage, and with a solemn wave to his brother-their father not showing up as usual-they disembarked to half a day’s journey to the Earl’s land.

Horror let himself breakdown then. He slipped the hat down and covered his face, great heaving sobs jutting themselves free, his back shaking so hard his bones creaked. He knew this was a panic attack in the making, his breaths coming out faster and faster. He shoved himself to lay on the bench, jittering, his legs curled up under the skirt of the dress as he choked on his cries.

The first time he had screamed, his father reprimanded him for making everyone worry. So now, he kept silent, so as not to alert the driver.

When he finally finished, he was exhausted, shuddering as he recovered. His face was wet, his teeth hurt from clenching so tightly, and his soul thundered a tune against his ribs. He sat up slowly, a headache forming beneath his temples, taking a small handkerchief from his breastpocket and sweeping over his face.

This was it then. His new life. Whatever it was. Hopefully he could handle it. He’d heard stories, after all. Stories of those who went missing after their marriages, or those who were no better than to host heirs and then be booted out the door.

Idly, he hoped the Earl would let his brother visit. If he could have only one thing, it would be that…

—————

Crop’s father had a saying. ‘A man ain’t worth his salt if’n he ain’t worthy of his word.’ His father showed him and his brother how to deal with people, and that was by providing empathy and compassion. A neighbor needs a cup of sugar? Give ‘em a bag and a ‘come on back now, ya hear?’. Little Sally’s lost in the forest? Don’t rest until she’s found even if it means days on end of searching.

Despite some people’s assumptions that he was too kind to ‘get ahead’ in life, his father ended up making many connections and owning several lots of land over the years, to which he partitioned out to his sons. Veg hired on people to take care of said land, as despite being a farmer’s son he didn’t have much care for the work. Instead, he studied hard and became a healer, something very much appreciated by his residents.

Crop meanwhile took to it like a fish to water. Day in, day out, he’d plow the fields and milk the cows and check the chickens. One of his residents-albeit he called them ‘neighbors’-would come by nervously and request something. One time it was an extra bottle of milk (he gave them a whole cart full, as they had recently had a baby), another was a small irk they had with some neighboring family encroaching on their land (easily solved with a few gentle words).

All in all, they were a happy land, without much grief. Troops would march through, throw their weight around, but with a few soothing words they too would ease into the life of things and stay the night or two to feast and rest.

No war, nothing too horrible happening. All was right in the world.

Well, except for one thing…

Crop was…kind of lonely? He had his friends, true, but…nobody that just gave a ting to the soul, someone to sit out in the stars with and chat about nothing all night long. Nobody to wake up to in the mornings and maybe joke around about the dog doing something silly.

“WHY NOT DO ONE OF THOSE THINGS THE CITIES DO?” Veg pondered one evening as they walked the perimeter of his farm. Mostly it was to check for mushrooms, but it was also just some time to spend with his bro. “THEY HAVE PAPERS AND LIKE, PETITIONING FOR THE HAND OF A MAIDEN.”

Crop made a face. “Not wantin’ a marriage, bro. Jus’ maybe someone ta spend time with, maybe grow a little close ta.”

Veg snorted. “WELL, YOU’LL HAVE TO WORD IT LIKE THAT, I SUSPECT. NO ONE’S WILLING TA ANSWER AN AD FOR A FRIEND.”

Crop cringed. Veg was right. No one took out an ad to have a friend. He hemmed and hawed for a moment. “Would it be wrong, ye think, ta put it out and then tell ‘em the truth?”

Veg hummed as he thought, picking up a stray apple from a tree. “PERHAPS, BUT, IF YOU TELL THEM IMMEDIATELY I AM SURE NO FEELINGS WILL BE HARMED!”

“Heh, yer so smart, bro.”

—————

The Earl’s place…was…odd. Horror had never seen so many trees and animals before. He watched out the small window curiously as they pulled to a stop, a small fluffy chicken pecking its way around. How…adorable…!

The driver left the carriage, leaving Horror to tap at the window nervously. What was he like? Would he be loud? Angry? Would he demand them to leave? Horror wasn’t exactly…the best looking, after all…

He ducked back inside, hearing voices. The door opened easily and the driver held out his hand. Horror cleared his throat, taking it gently as he stepped out into the sun and…

The…the Earl was…

 _ahem_.

Well.

If he wasn’t flustered before, he certainly was now.

First and foremost, he was the stereotypical farmer. Blue jacket, white tank top, shorts, sandals, hay in his teeth, straw hat on. 

But oh stars above he was… _muscular_. Which made Horror feel even worse. He’d gained a bit of weight from no training over the years, and he felt ten times worse now staring the Earl in the face. Muscles. 

…face.

He was pretty sure the skeleton could break his head off. He was also a full head taller than Horror. Horror blushed, clearing his throat. “H-Hi.”

“Heya,” the Earl tipped his hat. “Mighty fine ta meet ya.”

His voice was…rough, rumbly, odd in a way like a new blanket feels. He flushed as the Earl smiled. “Name’s Crop.”

“H-Horror.”

The driver cleared his throat, after setting Horror’s belongings on the ground, his eyes scanning the farm. “Well, here’s his things, our advisers will be in touch.” With a bow, he was back in, and gone…leaving Horror to this new life.

Crop whistled softly, rocking on his feet. “Well what an entrance, ey? So uh. Eh, you know what, it’s dinner, we can eat before settin’ ya up.” Horror nodded nervously, tugging up his dress from the dirt of the ground. Crop held out his arm and Horror took it, keeping his gaze down and away. “Sooo, ya gots any questions?”

“…n-no…um, well, would it be possible…” Horror stumbled over his words, trying not to stumble over a stray chicken in their path. “Could my brother visit time to time? He’s real nice and-” he started, trying to impress how much Sugar was needed, but Crop shrugged.

“Sure, why not?”

…oh. Easy enough. Horror nodded, flushing still as Crop took him to the large farmhouse nearby. It was dark oak wood with a trim of green, matching his ribbon. On the stairs, someone had taken a knife and etched their name, but it was too far for Horror to make out. Crop opened the door for them, letting Horror in first.

Among all else he imagined, this was not it.

There was a large, soft carpet under his feet-to which he toed his shoes off in the shoe pile-a large plush divan in front of a crackling fire, a small hall off to the side that lead to a dining area with a semi-large table and several chairs. There were some stairs, but from a doorway he could see a bedroom, so he wasn’t sure if that was a guest’s or Crop’s.

Would he sleep in the same bed? Would he be forced to? Could he plead out for the first night? Obviously his new…husband could do as he pleased but, Horror just needed a night to adjust, that was all-

“C’mon, up here!”

Horror shook himself of his thoughts, seeing Crop had already headed up the stairs. O-Oh, right. He bustled up the stairs quickly, flushing bright. Already? He wasn’t ready! Maybe he could hope that time would pass fast, and lose himself in the transition…

But…

Crop opened a door to a small room with a simple bed and bookcase. “Couldn’t decorate without ya tellin’ what ya like, but um, hope it’s okay fer now. This here’s the bath,” he knocked a door nearby as Horror watched dumbly, “If’n ya get lost or somethin’, I’m normally up late with the dog downstairs, heh.”

“You don’t…want to sleep in the same…bed?” Horror mumbled out, his fingers tangling in the ribbon around his waist.

Crop flushed, clearing his throat. “Pardonin’ me here, but ah, we don’t know one another well enough fer that, yeah? ‘Sides, I was considerin’-” there was a knock at the door, making Horror jump. “Oh! Lemme get that, be back.”

He left Horror there, in front of ‘his room’, and he entered slowly. His socked feet hit carpet, the bed slightly bigger than his old bed. He touched the blanket. It was scratchy, woven, with a pattern that looked like a green and yellow swirl on it. 

It…

It was…nice.

But what was Crop…considering?

He had to find out. He couldn’t let this go and be surprised by something he could’ve seen coming. He turned around, slowly trailing down the stairs, hearing the Earl laughing with someone. They bid a goodbye and he waved, shutting the door and jerking when he saw Horror. “Ya startled me there! Heh, Alphys sent a cake! Ya like cake?”

The cake was bright pink, with strawberries on top. He hoped it tasted like something other than ash in his mouth. He nodded slowly. “What were you saying…earlier?” he mumbled.

Crop blinked, tilting his head and scratching at the straw hat before snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah! C’mon, ta th’ kitchen!”

In the kitchen, it was…simplistic. Crop cut him a slice that he stared at, laying on its side, the icing melting slightly in the heat. He slowly brought his hand up, clutching the dented and silver fork as Crop started to speak. “So uh, sees, I wasn’t real…wantin’ ta get married, uh, yet!” He blushed, laughing nervously. “Really, was just wantin’ a partner, maybe someone ta go on walks with, but ah if ya don’t want, that’s fine too. I gots an old house Veg ain’t livin’ in no more if’n ya feel too uncomfortable here-um, you okay?”

Horror chewed on the bit of cake in his mouth.

It tasted of tears…

And strawberries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, dear reader, when one reads the word 'disaster' they think of many things. 'Oh what a disaster this is' one thinks when one is late to a party and the party is flooded inside the building and everyone's socks are wet.
> 
> 'Oh what a disaster this is' one believes when one's car breaks down on the highway all because of a rusty nail that the truck before flung out of its bed.
> 
> 'Oh what a disaster this is' one does not think when one tastes the most delicious cake one has ever tasted, but that is what Horror thinks, as acknowledging everything that that could mean would no doubt cause him to curl up in a ball and sob.
> 
> After all, when was the last time something good had happened in his life that was not labelled 'what a disaster'?


	2. M-M-Marriage?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crop and Horror find out they have a month until they're forced to wed.
> 
> Crop decides this means absolutely taking advantage by becoming BFFs.
> 
> Horror questions his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Crop would make puns and jokes but he's doing it for Horror's sake bc he looks so scared and sad and while Crop also probably doesn't wanna get married so soon, like, he'd rather them at least be somewhat friendly instead of always stepping on eggshells around each other.

Horror couldn’t sleep that night.

The little bed was squishy, nice, pleasant. There was no banging of pots and pans of servants, no torches flickering in the hallways. There was the sound of a dog barking in the distance, and wind rustling leaves right outside his window.

He and Crop had a...discussion.

_”Eh? Weddin’? Nah I mean…” Crop flustered and Horror would have laughed if things weren’t so serious. Horror sighed, having dabbed at his face with his handkerchief._

_“It’s what my father thought was going to happen. It was the agreement.”_

_Crop grunted. “Well. Yeh buuut….I mean, d’ya really wanna get married that fast?”_

_Horror shrugged. Nothing about this situation was exactly his choice, to be fair. “It’s just what’s done.”_

_Crop sighed, scooching his chair back as he got up, and for a moment Horror thought he was angry, that he’d do something like reach across the table and shake him…_

_But he just plopped his hat on his head, nodding resolutely. “Mmkay. I’ll ask if there’s a deadline or somethin’, that way we can at least get ta know each other.”_

_He winked with a cheery grin. “Maybe even sweep ya off yer feet!”_

Horror groaned, covering his head with the blanket, wearing his nightgown that was old and a bit ragged but comfy. Sweep him off his feet? This wasn’t a cheesy romance novel! There were deals and priorities and...and…

And it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, thinking of someone who would look at him and decide to court him.

But not Crop! He even said he wanted to be friends! What kind of marriage is it with ‘just friends’???

...oh. That. Kind of. Sounded sad, actually. He furrowed his eye sockets, thinking. His parents weren’t in love, their mother had immediately went home after giving their father two heirs to rule her own kingdom.

He tried to rack his brain for anyone he knew of that was at least moderately friendly to their spouse.

The maid, maybe...she held her wife’s hand that one time, before they split apart quickly due to his father rounding the corner.

What was that like? Having someone you loved and to be loved in return? He sighed, shaking his head and hiding under his pillow. No, better not get his hopes up…it would just hurt all that much more when things went sour.

\-------

The Royal Declaration was that, in order for the terms to be fulfilled, they had to be married within the month.

Crop made a clicking noise with the hay in his mouth, fiddling with the slightly old scroll that had been sent along as Horror nervously sat at the kitchen table. He was in a simple smock that Crop had produced, a dark green one with sleeves. Supposedly, it kept the dirt from his underclothes, but he’d not been out enough to see it.

“Whelp.” Crop shrugged. “Alright.”

“A-Alright?” Horror repeated. Crop nodded, flicking the scroll to toss it onto the counter. 

“Yeeeep. Seems I ain’t got much time ta show ya around but how’s about we start anyway?”

...Crop was so weird.

But. Horror let him take his arm, leading him out back onto the farm he’d seen from the carriage. Plots of land with various plants, a sheep or two grazing nearby, Cujo whipping around the farm at top speed barking up a storm, only to stop and take a drink from a muddy puddle.

Crop nudged a door open to the coop, proudly showing off his army of chickens. Horror gave him a soft smile. “They’re adorable.”

“Yup,” Crop chuckled. “Henrietta’s their mam, oldest hen I got.”

Said hen was clucking softly from her nest, clucking louder when Crop leaned in, nudging her up a little to reveal a tiny chick peeping under her. “See? Still roostin’ away.”

“Awww,” Horror cooed, jumping when a chicken pecked near his feet. He backed up, but it followed, warbling curiously at him. “O-Oh…”

“Shoo on now,” Crop waved the chicken away.. “Yer new, they know it.”

“Th-They’re smart,” Horror laughed nervously, dusting off the front of his smock. “Um, where to now?”

They went around, disturbing the animals a bit as they did so. One cow tried to nip at Horror’s hat which he held tight on, while Crop nudged the giant head away. At the end of it, Crop clapped, then spread his arms out.

“Ta da~”

Horror blinked, a grin sneaking onto his face. “Ta da?”

“Thaaaat’s it~” Crop chuckled, shuffling his hands into his pockets. “Eh, ain’t shared the farm with no one, so uh, chores are gonna be hard ta split up.” He scratched his chin as he thought. Horror blinked, tilting his head.

Chores? Oh, right, none of this was able to run on its own...and...Crop didn’t have maids or chefs and the like. Horror felt a little...bad for assuming all that, really. He fiddled with a tie on his waist. “I-I can...um...I know how to...do...some things.”

Crop shrugged. “That’s fine an’ all, just hard ta figure up what needs doin’ and the like.” He snapped his fingers, eye lights wide. “How’s about takin’ care of the crops fer a while? Right now it’s just waterin’, it ain’t much, but it’s time consumin’.”

Horror immediately nodded. Anything to take his mind off things. Plus, he always liked the gardens back home, all colorful and elegant with stone benches lining the walkways.

Crop grinned. “Deal then.” He hummed, tilting his head. “ ‘cept, I already did it all today…normally I trek ta town, grab a drink. Wanna?”

Horror shrugged. It was a bit early for a drink, but Horror was already disrupting his life as it was, so he shouldn’t argue back about anything, probably. Crop grinned, and Horror felt like he’d made a good decision…

\---------

The town that Crop lived near-the one his ancestors technically formed-was...pretty large. Crop promised to take him around after a stop at the bar, which, Horror didn’t mind. He needed a drink too at this point. His head was pounding now, but he refused to remove his hat. There was no need to show Crop the badge of his failure at being a soldier…

He stirred from his thoughts as a root beer float made its way to him, piled with whipped cream and a cherry. He took it curiously, looking at Crop who was busy sipping a pink float. “I thought it was alcohol?”

Crop snorted, nipping his own cherry with a grin. “Nah, that’s at night. Ice cream floats durin’ the day. Gives ya pep.”

He wasn’t wrong there. A sip of the sugary drink chased the headache away in a wash of adrenaline. Nice. 

The bar wasn’t loud, like he assumed it would be either. A fire monster tended to it, busy cleaning a glass at one end. One table had a small family, the woman holding a toddler on her lap as she laughed at something her husband said. There was a pinball machine in the corner, a small child darting from it to the woman to ask for coins to play.

Horror licked his teeth free of the whipped cream, smiling. “This is nice.”

“Ain’t it?” Crop chuckled. “Think it counts as the first date?”

Horror scoffed playfully, twirling the mug on the bar to make it clatter lightly. “Dunno, isn’t a first date usually walking around all bored like?”

Crop snorted. “ ‘Zactly! This ain’t no boring thin’, it’s fun!” He nodded. “Fun first date.”

Horror playfully kicked him, snickering as Crop pouted.

Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've never played HM: A Wonderful Life, there's literally a bar in town. They make OBVIOUSLY alcoholic drinks that ALSO gets your character drunk bc if you drink TOO much you can't control him very well lol. 
> 
> Except when they give you the drink it literally looks like a float, like, with a cherry on top and everything!
> 
> As a kid I was super jealous. This guy, living life, has a farm, gets to drink ALL THE ICE CREAM FLOATS HE WANTS.
> 
> Gets dizzy for some reason when he does tho...
> 
> XD


	3. What Even Are We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horror and Crop talk marriage again. Kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmm this got more introspective than I planned...

Watering crops was so fucking calming.

He wasn’t sure exactly why. Maybe it was the slow pace of walking, having to stop and just watch the drops pitter patter to the ground, little sprouts springing under the weight of the water.

Cujo would follow him, sometimes. Sometimes he went with Crop but sometimes, he followed Horror. He’d sniff around his feet curiously, then tump over and just watch him water the crops, panting as if it was just too hot for him to do doggy things.

So cute. Horror wished he had had a pet growing up. He did once have a small kitten who would roam the gardens, but it didn’t show up one day. He assumed the guards chased it off.

He smiled, looking over at the lazy pup. “Tired, there?”

Cujo smacked his jaws, then rolled over and spun in place.

Guess not.

It also gave him time to think about Crop and their…situation. He was still pretty, you know, anxious about the whole thing. He’d already accepted that he’d be living here for the foreseeable future-until Crop got…tired of the whole thing, maybe…-but accepting that and being married to the person you’ll be living with..well…it made him really nervous. He could feel the anxiety creeping into his throat, making him shake in fear.

But damn if Crop didn’t try to make a good thing out of this.

He’d ask how Horror was each morning, he’d take him to the town and go to different shops to show him around, and when his head started to thrum in pain, he’d help him to his room, dim the lamp, and get a washcloth for his head. 

Only Sugar had ever been so kind to him. Pardoning a maid or two, but they weren’t exactly the warm and caring types, either.

After watering the crops-which took a while, so he wondered how long Crop usually took in the mornings-he gently nudged Cujo awake and off they headed to the barn to find Crop. He had finished shearing one of the sheep, who ‘baa’ed at him for his ‘roughness’ (Horror had seen how he moved the sheep, he was so gentle, but the sheep cared not what he meant by it), and then trotted away to bump against Horror’s knee. He chuckled, bending to pet the little head as Crop tucked the wool into a large bag. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Horror smiled as Cujo yipped, trotting around them in circles as Crop lifted up the wool bag over his shoulder, chuckling.

”Done, I take it?”

”Y-Yeah,” Horror nodded. “What’d you wanna do now?”

Crop lifted the shoulder with the bag on it. “Gotta get this’n ta the storage fer this weekend, then we can head out fer some lunch.”

Horror nodded. On most weekends, Crop headed to some farmer’s market to sell the crops and animal products he got over the week. The weird thing was, he didn’t really have to? He had the land AND his home, and Horror was sure he had plenty extra food to survive on. However, he’d learned that Crop sold the stuff cheaply, as he could see both sides: the other farmers had to make a profit, but his townspeople needed to eat if they were down on their luck.

Other than that he generally traded for ‘anything cool’. Last time, he traded some spun red wool for a small cuckoo clock.

Horror freaking loved that clock. It had the smallest bird in it!!

This weekend would be the first time Horror would accompany him. Last weekend he didn’t have much to go with, so he skipped out.

They dropped the wool off at storage, filled up Cujo’s water bowl, Crop put a slice of meat out for him, and off they headed to town once again.

Well, after changing clothes. That was something Horror had fussed about and managed to get Crop to start doing. Not that he disliked how Crop appeared when he was done with chores, sweaty and a bit muddy on the edges of his jeans or overalls, but it just wasn’t good manners when going out into the town!

So, Horror changed from the dark brown smock into a finer, lacy skirt with a blue top, while Crop just switched into a buttoned shirt and more jeans. 

Eh, at least he wasn’t dirty and smelling of the farm animals. (Which, again, Horror didn’t mind, but one should always be clean in front of company, something he’d learned through lessons back home.)

In town, Crop took him to an outside restaurant, where they could eat ice cream while sitting in the sun. Crop took a bite of his-chocolate with strawberry sauce-before speaking, “Soooo. ‘s there somethin’ you wanna…uh…add ta the weddin’?”

Horror choked on his bite, scrambling to cover his mouth with the napkin, his straw hat tilting as he did so. “W-What?!”

Crop passed him one easily, chuckling. “Everyone’s got ah, traditions and th’ like. Thought you had somethin’.”

”Um…” Horror tapped his spoon against the ice cream for a moment. “…I’d like it if my brother could come…?”

”Well, yeah,” Crop shrugged. “But I mean like…food…dancin’…traditions or. Somethin’.”

Oh. Hmm. He shrugged, one leg swaying under the table nervously. “I. Well. No, I suppose. Wedding outfits, um, there’s not much we do for weddings.”

Crop nodded, taking a bite and licking the sauce from his spoon. “Yeah, I get that. Here, we do bouquets ta propose, ‘n’ whatnot. What kinda flowers ya like?”

Horror flushed, shrugging as he looked away. “I..um…Oh! I like…the little roses? They’re pale pinkish?”

Crop nodded. “I gotcha, alright. Other than that, we ain’t got much ‘round here.”

Horror sighed, nodding as he thought. What traditions DID they have? Marry off your kid to the kingdom next door to gain more land? …that was a bad one. He frowned, scratching lightly at the wooden table. “Why can’t we just…make our own?”

”Hm?”

”Our own,” Horror nodded, looking up and over at Crop, giving a small smile. “Like…whatever, I guess. Our own tradition. Like eating at Grillby’s each night.”

Crop snickered. “Would make us fat, I s’spect,” He patted his own belly, sending Horror into laughter. “Buuut. I like that. Yeah. Makin’ our own, huh?”

Horror nodded. “Yeah. And then we’d have to focus on wedding clothes, later…I guess.”

”Hmmm,” Crop tilted back in the chair, nibbling on his ice cream. “Where ya wanna get married at?”

Horror blinked. “Uh. The. Church?”

”Boooring,” he stuck his tongue out playfully. “Why not at the beach? ‘s a nice place.”

A beach wedding…it’d mess up their clothes, for sure, but it was…nice to think of the fresh air around them, the cool waves washing up to shore. He nodded slowly after a moment. “I…I like that, yes.”

”Cool.”

And with that, they planned the wedding, unsure of the life after, but they could focus on that after.

Horror wanted his brother there, there was no arguing, and Crop wouldn’t even dare to do so. Veg would be there, and while Horror was nervous about it, they did want to include the few villagers who meant something to them. Right now that was Grillby, albeit Crop assured him he would like Muffet, as she would make their clothes.

Chocolate cake was a must. Horror didn’t care how big it was, he just wanted some chocolate cake.

Since they were standing on the sand, they agreed on no shoes. The sand felt nicer between their toes, anyway.

It was a nice day out, planning ahead. They had two weeks to do it in. 

Horror could feel himself warming up to Crop, who happily told of some shenanigan or another he and his brother had been up to as children, spoon waving in the air, a smear of chocolate on his jaw.

He had read a book wherein the woman wanted to reach in and lick the smear of sauce off her intended’s cheek, or at least, thumb it away to tease him.

Horror…wanted to press his cheek against Crop’s, playfully poke at the chocolate smear, laugh as Crop would quickly wipe at it with his sleeve, flushing.

Camaraderie. Not love.

Not yet.

Maybe…not ever. 

That sent a pang in his soul as they walked home. He did want to love Crop, he did. But…it was okay if they didn’t fall in love. Crop treated him properly, although he might change after the wedding.

Maybe, after some time, they might turn to love. Maybe one day he’d awaken, and see Crop feeding Cujo and scratching at his ears, and think, ‘I sure do love you’.

He did…feel warmth inside. He wasn’t sure if it was love. He was sure that it was something. A positive something.

Their hands entangled for a moment as Crop, distracted, eagerly pointed out a monarch butterfly flitting by. Horror gently squeezed their hands together, and the warm feeling increased inside his chest.

…maybe someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crop: so like next year I'm gonna grow corn, and then maybe we c'n go to the next town over, they got a neat trope that does plays
> 
> Meanwhile:
> 
> Horror: oh how are we ever going to do this we might end up hating each other but what if we end up in love?! but then what about the children?!
> 
> Horror needs. To chill.  
> (but is definitely in some kinda 'like' for Crop ;) )


	4. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horror and Crop's first discussion over Horror's wound.
> 
> And letters between brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a rather meeeaaan ending in mind for this, but it wouldn't have matched what I was planning so I decided not to torment both of us lol

The hand gently scraping over the smooth part of his head lulled him into relaxation.

”Does it hurt?”

”Sometimes,” he admitted, his head cradled on Crop’s lap, his hat untied and set on the table. The hole was hidden against Crop’s thighs, but it didn’t hurt if that’s what he meant. He was in a simple smock again but curled up on the couch. It was a bad day.

”…ya wanna talk about it?” Crop mumbled, never stopping the small stroking. Cujo, recognizing everyone was not up to having fun, had hopped into the nearby armchair and fallen asleep. Horror gripped at Crop’s pant leg tightly, swallowing.

”Maybe.”

”Don’t gotta,” Crop mumbled. “Whatever ya want.”

Horror didn’t say anything for a moment, content to lay around, pretend that it was whatever passes for a normal day and not one with a raging migraine thrumming just behind his good eye. He blinked, then shut his eye sockets for a moment.

”Can’t really remember it all,” he mumbled, tilting into the small scratches. It felt nice, like when Sugar would rub his head when it hurt. “Some things I do. Some things I don’t.” He paused for a moment, sighing. “I know it was a sledgehammer that did it, though.”

”Damn,” Crop let out a low whistle, gently digging his fingers in just behind Horror’s skull, making him shiver in the small spark of pleasure. “That sucks. No wonder it hurts ya.” He hummed, rubbing his thumb in circles. “Ain’t nothin’ they can do, huh?”

”No.” Horror sighed, stretching his legs out from where they had curled up. “They tried. Hurt too much. Not worth it.”

”Hmm…what’d ya try to get it ta stop hurtin’?”

Horror shrugged, pouting when Crop started to shift as if getting up, but perking up when he just seemed to use his magic to grab up something. He nudged Horror’s head up, then wrapped the hole in a warm, wet towel. He shut his eye sockets again, laying back down. “Oh…”

”Mm-hmm,” Crop chuckled, shifting so Horror’s head was better cradled in his lap, slipping his hand down to his jaw and neck, rubbing against the joints slowly. “Feelin’ good, eh? Helps my joints when it rains.”

”Mmmm,” Horror mumbled, content and happy as the migraine slowly stopped using him as a makeshift bongo drum. “…used ta be a soldier,” he mumbled. Crop hummed.

”That so? Ya miss it?”

”…not really,” he mumbled. What was there to miss? Well, that’s not exactly true. He missed his friends, and he did miss being able to train for long bouts of time without curling up with a migraine or losing a step in time. But beyond that? Constantly waking up early, having to wonder if the next parry would carry over and slice into you, wonder if the next time is going to be THE moment?

Nothing to miss there, certainly.

Crop hummed, nodding slowly. “Whelp,” he mumbled, rubbing his thumb over the edge of Horror’s jaw. “You just rest on up, ya hear? Not like we’re doin’ anything today.” Horror mumbled something back, hearing the clinking of raindrops against their windows start up, and he was lulled into sleep by the noise and warmth of the other near him.

Sometimes, when he’s alone, or when he gets lost in thought, he thinks about that moment on the couch. How Crop held him so kindly, how he didn’t press for answers, how he kept him calm and eased up.

It was one of his favorite memories, and he’d be damned if he was going to forget it any time soon.

~~

‘DEAREST BROTHER,

I AM WRITING TO ENQUIRE ON HOW YOU ARE DOING! I HOPE YOUR NEW HUSBAND…ER…FIANCE? IS TREATING YOU WELL! IF HE IS NOT I SHALL COME AND RESCUE YOU! SOMEHOW.

MISS CYNTHIA, THE COOK, ASKED ME TO PASS ALONG YOUR FAVORITE RECIPE FOR SWEET MINTS. SHE SAYS THIS IS A NICE WEDDING TREAT TO MAKE. I DO NOT KNOW, HONESTLY.

THERE AREN’T ANY STIRRINGS OF WAR THAT WE CAN HEAR, OR IF THERE ARE, FATHER HAS NOT LET ME KNOW. I AM BECOMING MORE INVOLVED IN MEETINGS, AND A FEW OF THE GENERALS TELL ME THAT THEY APPRECIATE MY FRESH SET OF EYES.

I’M NOT SURE WHY.

I DON’T HAVE PHYSICAL EYES.

ANYWAY! I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING FUN…WRITE BACK, PLEASE?

SUGAR.’

‘Brother,

Thank you for the recipe. It’s my favorite and makes me feel happy when they melt on my tongue.

My…Crop and I are doing well. He has a little pup named Cujo, I think you’d like him. And several barn animals. I help tend to the crops, albeit repetitious, I enjoy it. It helps distract my mind from…everything.

Though we are set to marry, Crop has assured me you are invited. After all, how can I get married without my brother there to support me? I’d sooner lock myself away, I believe.

My headaches have eased a little, but when it rains, I find myself seeking comfort in the darkness. Crop, it seems, has his aches and pains during the storms. We joke about bonding over ‘being old’. He’s funny, and he makes me laugh.

I do care for him, I think. 

Or, someday, I will. He’s doing a bad job of keeping me at arm’s length if that’s his aim.

As you are set to be King someday (soon?), Father cannot prevent you from visiting. Crop has offered to let you come and spend time at the house. I have my own room, surprisingly, and he says that he can either give you one or set a bed out for you in my room. 

I think you’d like his friend here, Grillby? He’s a cook. Very good. Makes delicious things. I’ll take you there. Or have Crop take us. My ability to recall maps is still far from me.

Love ya,

Horror’

‘DEAREST BROTHER,

I MAY TAKE YOU UP ON THAT. FATHER HAS BEEN ACTING…OFF THE PAST FEW DAYS. HE’S NEARLY AS FORGETFUL AS YOU, BUT MORE SNAPPISH. I’VE ASKED EVERYONE ELSE, BUT THEY’RE TOO AFRAID TO SPEAK AGAINST HIM TO EVEN TELL ME IF THEY THINK HE’S ILL.

PERHAPS FATHER IS MERELY STRESSED. I KNOW HE GETS THAT WAY OFTEN. SELFISH AS IT MAY BE, I’D RATHER NOT BE AROUND WHEN IT COMES EXPLODING OUT, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT YOU ARE SAFE FAR AWAY FROM HIM.

PERHAPS IN THE COMING WEEK?

SUGAR’

‘Brother,

We’ll prepare for you. Don’t worry about Father, he can take care of himself for a while. Come and see the newborn lamb Crop has. They’re quite adorable, albeit they like to chew my sleeve.

See you soon,

Horror’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I distinctly recall Cleopatra finding out her father had been bitten by an asp, but I don't know why I'm remembering it right now.
> 
> Eh. Sugar gonna come visit!!! Hooray!!!


	5. Sugar Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar's Visit, Day one!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sugar has finally arrived!!! What an event. Whatever will happen I wonder = )
> 
> Veg: OSTEOARTHRITIS EXISTS!  
> Horror, who legit has no idea what that is: *gasp*

Sugar was not what Crop was expecting. Then again, his own brother was so far different from himself that people often thought they weren’t related.

Sugar was tall, perhaps even taller than Veg. However, he bent forward a little, a nervous look to his skull, as if trying to make himself appear smaller in his spot of the universe. He had slightly crooked teeth, a loud voice, and wore a simple tunic and pants when he came to meet them inside the carriage.

His hugs were just as strong as Crop imagined, and had he been a thinner monster, he would have lost a few limbs that way.

“IT IS GOOD TO MEET YOU!” Sugar chirped, Crop grunting in response as he was finally released, Horror swept up for his turn in the hugging match. “BROTHER! YOU LOOK MIGHTY WELL TODAY!”

“Thanks, bro,” Horror squeezed back as good as he got before being set back down, smiling. “It’s really good ta see ya again and not in letter form.”

“SAME TO YOU!” he squeaked out, his hands curling over themselves again. Crop had seen him doing it a few times, nervous? Probably. “I HAVE DECIDED TO STAY IN ORDER TO HELP ASSIST IN THE WEDDING PLANNING!”

“Really?” Crop tilted his hat back to look up at the taller brother. “Might nice of ya, considerin’ neither of us really knows where ta start.”

Horror, however, was flustered. “Ya don’t have ta, bro.”

“NONSENSE! I ALREADY HAVE PLANS DRAWN UP!” He bounced in place eagerly, pulling out a scroll with a bunch of scribbling on it. “MOSTLY IT’S ABOUT THE FOOD!”

“Ey, Grillby would love ta chat with ya about that. Fer now, how about ah, settlin’ in there, big bro?”

Horror and Sugar stared at him curiously. “BIG BRO?”

“Hm?” Crop nodded. “Yeah? It’s ah, a thing here, I suspect. Point of ah, respect ‘n’ all. C’mon, I’ll show ya where ya stayin’.”

Horror and Sugar exchanged a curious look behind Crop’s back but followed behind him nonetheless. Cujo darted from his hiding spot of his little doghouse and barked eagerly, racing around Crop’s legs and peeking at the looming form of Sugar curiously.

Sugar waved.

Cujo barked.

A meaningful conversation!

Inside the house, Cujo made his chipper puppy way to the recliner as usual while the two led Sugar to the kitchen. Horror had already made tea and Crop had set out a pie to eat. Sugar gleefully took a seat. “WOW...THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS!”

“Made it fresh from th’ strawberries we’d been growin’,” Crop winked at Horror who flushed, ducking his head.

“I just watered ‘em, didn’t do much.”

“Kept ‘em alive until we could have ‘em! That’s a lot ta me.”

Sugar watched them even as he took a bite, both of them playfully avoiding the title of Strawberry Grower. It was...amusing, and sweet, especially since it seemed to make his brother relax. It was the happiest he’d seen him lately, especially while eating. “IT’S VERY GOOD ALL THE SAME! I LIKE IT!”

“Good,” Crop chuckled. “Not much fun if’n ya don’t enjoy where ya stayin’.”

“We can show you around the farm too later,” Horror took a small sip of tea, both hands holding the cup tightly. It was warm and his hands felt icy in the nervous wave of emotions. “The town and stuff...it’ll be nice, bro.”

“OF COURSE, I’M SURE OF IT! I’D LIKE TO GO EXPLORING EVENTUALLY.” He took another bite of the pie. It was delicious, melting inside his mouth and sending pleasant zaps of magic into his system. So warm and lovely! Perhaps he would ask for Crop to send some pies back home, he seemed a kind enough fellow…

His room was right next door to Horror’s which was also amazing, and they also had a connecting door!!! Crop laughed at his excitement, scratching lightly at his head. “Yeah when me and my own bro were little, our pa had it made up so we could go an’ see each other as kids.”

“IT’S TRULY MARVELOUS, OUR FATHER ALWAYS HAD US SEPARATED,” Sugar was busy cooing at the puppy, trying to entice him into entering the room so he could pet him. Cujo was torn between obeying, wagging his tail, and darting his fat little head back and forth between him and Crop.

Horror nodded, tugging lightly on his own hat. “Wasn’t as fun…”

“I bet not. Welp, ya can stay togetha here, eh?”

They helped bring up the small cases of clothes Sugar had brought (rather, Crop did all the heavy lifting and let the two chatter on), and then they went exploring the farm.

They first met up with the sheep and her newborn. Said newborn had learned of gravity and fought bravely against it, their little hooves dancing in the dirt as they bounced around Sugar’s legs. Cujo rolled around in the dirt as Sugar got to pet the baby lamb, getting a gentle nip in return. “WOWIE...SHE’S SO SMALL! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER?” he asked Crop who chuckled.

“I ain’t a ranch, I raise ‘em up for their wool. When they get elderly, I make a decision on what happens after. It’s only after they’ve well and true lived their life that they’re offered up to th’ rest of the food chain.”

“OOOHHH…”

Horror was busy petting the mom, who had come to know him as the ‘one with apples’, and he nodded. “He’s got cows too, and chickens, they’re very cute, heh.”

“Mmhmm. May not be the most money-makin’ thing in the world, but I ain’t here ta earn money.” Crop shrugged. “I’m here ta watch over my land and keep things a-goin’. And they are going good.”

Sugar nodded, smiling at the happy lamb who was butting up against his hand. “HOW ADORABLE! AND FLUFFY!”

“Yeah, they sure are,” Crop chuckled. “C’mon, we’ll head ta town then and go around.”

‘Town’ was...a...literal town. Sugar had been to a few since he was meant to inherit the throne (now), but he assumed Crop’s ‘kingdom’ would have been more massive than it was.

Grillby’s bar was a quaint place with little tables scattered about.

Muffet’s was a clothing shop with a stylish mannequin in the window and a lacy wedding dress gently enveloping it.

There was a bay area with a large ship docked and several passers-by waving at them as they unloaded large crates from the ship.

Several market stalls littered the ends of the street, some people haggling for fruit or other necessities, a few children racing over the clean cobblestones. 

There was a large white building and Crop motioned at it as they walked by. "That there's the doc, otherwise known as my bro." 

"WOWZERS…YOUR BROTHER IS A HEALER?" 

“Yeah, been a helper all his life,” Crop chuckled. “He’s busy lately, but we can meet up with ‘im later.”

“We had a dinner planned tonight, since we both got family in town,” Horror explained as they walked. Pretty white birds crooned above them, flying around and darting to catch a stray fish in the clear waters. A few people waved to Crop, a fire elemental serving small cups of perhaps coffee or tea to those at the tables outside. He wore a nice tuxedo, and pushed a small pair of glasses further up his face after giving them a happy wave as well.

Sugar nodded, his shoulders still hunched in, as if the very ceiling of the sky weighed down on him. “NYEH, IT’S SO MUCH NICER HERE, LESS...MMM...I DON’T KNOW. BUT IT’S NICE!”

“Well thank ya,” Crop winked. “We try ‘n’ keep it nice and pleasant here. You wanna stop fer a snack?”

“SURE!”

Three delicious snow cones later, two blueberry and one rainbow, and they were headed off once more. Sugar seemed impressed in the carriages with the tall and weirdly ‘fluffy’ horses. They had long fur around their lower limbs, and one owner allowed Sugar to pet one. She was very happy for the pat between the ears, or appeared to be, anyway.

Everything was more at peace than it had been in their kingdom, a detail that Sugar kept noticing over, and over, and over.

Especially how relaxed his brother was, how he kept close to Earl Crop and he’d smile when the other would talk or lean close to him as they walked through a crowd. While it may not have been the sappy love that was oft in his fictional stories, it was...sweet and kind, like how the two maids had been once, holding hands and talking in whispers.

Obviously, they were both head over heels for one another! That was it! Sugar was so thrilled for his brother, this was the best possible outcome after all!

Ah, but, perhaps it was best to keep things quiet. Father was known for picking up on the scent of happiness and trashing it to bits.

He let them lead him around and as the day grew darker, they wandered back up to the farm.

Cujo caught their scent and started barking wildly, rolling around in the dirt before circling their feet, sniffling. Crop pulled out a small bit of jerky-not sure when he had bought that-and tossed it. “Here ya are, ya brute. Sniffs it out in a sec,” he laughed as Cuju hopped through the air to catch it, chewing away and slobbering on his paws.

Horror chuckled, shaking his head as he removed his hat now, content to keep a small bandanna on the top instead as they walked into the house. “He’s so silly like that.”

“NYEH...WHAT ABOUT...THE ANIMALS?” Sugar nervously looked back out, where he could see the assortment of sheep grazing, cows doing their thing, although a few of the chickens and ducks were toddling back to their ‘huts’.

Crop waved a hand, shucking his shoes off at the door. “It ain’t gonna rain tomorrow, so I left the barn door open and they can come and go as they please. Won’t hurt ‘em none.”

“MM, OKEY DOKE…”

“Don’t worry, bro,” Horror patted his back, slipping his own shoes off and padding on the cushy carpet. “They’ve lived like this so they’re used to it.”

“OH! YOU’RE RIGHT,” Sugar laughed, following in after them, content the animals would be safe from harm.

They settled in the kitchen. Crop had some recipe books around and Sugar opted to help cook the dinner for meeting Veg that night. They ended up making a meatloaf with potatoes and Crop made his usual pie. It smelled delicious, and Sugar hadn’t known he was so good at cooking!

A little help from his brother wasn’t to be forgotten, either.

Crop’s brother, Veg, was tall, but a little shorter than himself. He had a small pair of glasses on the tip of his nose bridge, a lab coat, and had an air of energy around him as if he never stopped moving. He hugged his brother and shook Sugar’s hand. “IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU, I’M GLAD YOU STOPPED BY! OUR LITTLE COMMUNITY GROWS EVERYDAY!”

“YES, SO IT SEEMS!” Sugar smiled, although he felt a little out of place with everything. It quickly faded when Horror shooed them both to the table, the plates laid out and glasses of apple juice poured out.

Cujo sat under the table, snoring away, his little puppy head on Crop’s feet as Veg whistled. “MY! THIS IS QUITE THE FEAST! YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO,” he told Horror who shook his head.

“Nah, it’s nice, having everyone home.”

“Yup,” Crop agreed, passing Horror a roll and a smile. “It’s cozy and why not treat ourselves, eh?”

Veg shrugged in response while Sugar took up a fork and took a bite. It was delicious, and he didn’t have to worry about sitting up straight or eating right, or hurtful accusations being thrown.

It was just him, his brother who was busy scolding Crop for not washing his muddy boots off earlier, and Veg who was busy asking after their health and encouraging them to drink more milk to stave off ‘late bone death’ as they called it. He called it something else. Osteo…?

All the same, it was nice, and warm (probably the fireplace), and…

Family.

It was family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes family consists of two skeletons, their brothers, their dog of indeterminate age, and an entire farm where nothing bad at all has ever happened and will ever happen, and sometimes that's all a family has to be.


	6. Pretty Clothes, Pretty Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get fitted for their wedding clothes UwU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muffet is, at all times...Winry Rockbell.

Muffet had, through her youth, not been one for pastry making as her clan had been. Rather, she found herself enticed by lace and ribbons, jean material and zippers, needles and measuring tape.

She had a knack for it, a word that meant it was something she was unnaturally good at without much training. You see, everyone, monsters, and humans, came in all shapes and sizes. Little ones, tall ones, broad ones, slimy ones, thin as a stick…

Sometimes a literal stick…

So that was what she did. She dressed the various citizens that came through her door. Her outfits were a pretty G, but absolutely worth it. Spider silk was, after all, quite tough and tended to stand the test of time, whether that was the short lives of humans or the long ones of Boss Monsters.

So when their own Earl had asked her to design their wedding outfits, she was positively _thrilled_.

Not so much when they admitted they were marrying on the beach-all that sand, the salt from the sea-but she could not begrudge them. After all, it had been quite some time since Crop had been so...enthused on something.

Yes, he had his farm and his pup and visited Grillby, but mostly he appeared to go through the daily motions. He seemed...bored.

Not anymore, thankfully.

Today she had in the lovely bride (groom? Royal semantics escaped her), several tiny spiders crawling this way and that as she measured various body parts. “Oh hu hu~ So having fun, I take it?”

Horror blushed, giving her a small grin. “Yeah uh...Crop is really kind, truly. You all are kind as well.”

“Hu hu hu~ A compliment, how sweet.” She flashed her fangs at him, dipping down to measure hip to ankle. He stood on a stool as still as a statue, or as best he could. Spiderlings tended to accidentally tickle customers with their tiny feet. “Now, the beach tends towards heat...perhaps a light cloth?”

“Whatever you believe is best,” he shrugged, shivering as tiny legs scattered up his spine and raced around. She hummed, tilting her head back and forth, her many eyes flickering as they blinked.

“Not too light, mind. You’ll give everyone a show,” she let out a hissing laugh, a few spiders letting a white bolt of cloth drop into her arms. “Let’s see…”

They decided on a strapless dress with a flower on the front. It dipped in his back and only came down to his knees. However, she added a sheer fabric around his waist, almost like a ballerina tutu, that spread out around him. “This won’t grab sand pieces,” she explained, “and gives a beautiful figure to the dress.”

He shifted back and forth, watching himself in the large mirror. Nervously, a hand slid up to the edge of the hole which was hidden by a white bandanna today. “...I don’t know. Not entirely a ‘pretty’ monster.”

“Oh you stop that now,” she scolded, one hand wagging a finger as another slid up and cupped his hand over the hole. “Everyone’s got their scars, yours just happens to be in plain view.” 

Horror blinked, his eye pips flicking to her in the mirror.

All eyes blinked.

He sighed. “...so what SHOULD I do about it? I can’t risk, you know, something...dropping in it.”

“Hu hu hu~ I have the perfect accessory!”

A gentle satin bow had been tied around it, the bow resting under his skull instead of on top of it. Had it been, it may have given him a quite younger look, but the way it was tilted, covering his head, and tied nicely to the back of his skull, gave him an older slightly more serious look.

He much preferred it. Being seen as younger than he was wasn’t something he really wanted to do on his _wedding day_ of all things.

Sugar was ecstatically pleased with the clothing choices, clapping eagerly once he was allowed into the dressing room. “MARVELOUS, BROTHER! YOU LOOK VERY NICE!”

Horror chuckled, scratching his cheek with a blush. “Aw. Thanks, bro…”

“Yes, I could hardly do anything but my very best,” Muffet chortled, a hand cupping her chin, two hands on her hips as she looked Sugar up and done. “Ah hu hu hu~ My, you’re tall. I like the challenge.”

Sugar blinked curiously as Horror hid a chuckle. Oh yes, his brother’s tall, lanky stature was quite the challenge for various seamstresses over the years. Several spiders let another white bolt of cloth slide from the ceiling as Muffet crossed two arms. Horror cleared his throat and two eyes peered at him. “Hmm?”

“You’re all pretty okay with...this,” he waved his hand at the dress. “Figured ya would’ve said something about it.”

“I cannot pretend to understand royal things,” she waved a hand, a pinky hooking onto a stray blue string in the air, four eyes looking over it sharply. “But it would be horribly disrespectful for us to raise a fuss. However, are _you_ okay with it?” Three eyes cut to him and he blinked, flushing a little.

“O-Oh. Um. I’m...fine. Crop um...he’s pretty great,” he chuckled. “He’s...really nice, and I adore the farm and the animals there. The little town here is very cozy.”

“Ah hu hu hu~” she chortled, one hand cradling her chin with a large, fanged grin. “How sweet of you to say~ We’re very quaint, yes.” One hand reached out, gripping his shoulder softly. “You’re part of us now. I hope you approve.”

Horror couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, swiping away a hidden tear with a sniff. “Right nice of you...think I do, certainly.”

“Brilliant~! Dear brother!” She clapped her hands with a large grin. “How do you judge it?”

The outfit her spiders brilliantly made was a very beautiful pink dress. It held a pattern of flowers around the neck and chest, to the waist and down the skirt which reached Sugar’s knees (a feat in and of itself, and would most likely drag the ground on Horror). It held a silk covering from his neck to the top of the dress, and silk bell-end sleeves that draped elegantly over his bones.

His brother seemed immensely pleased with the way he was gingerly touching the silk. “MARVELOUS, TRULY! I THANK YOU DEEPLY, MISS MUFFET!”

“Ah hu hu hu~” she purred, tilting her head, her curls bouncing lightly. “Wonderful~ Cannot have the family be underdressed as well.”

“Um, how much…?” Horror hesitated. How did they do things here? He was sure he’d seen Crop hand Grillby a G when they had the...the date...which still made him blush. But Muffet shook her head, grinning.

“Not a thing. Earl Crop lives near a tunnel my spider clan uses to travel, and so long as he continues to keep it clean of debris, and warm in the winter, then nothing I make is a cost to him.”

“Oh um...th-thank you then,” Horror bobbed his head and Muffet seemed to curtsy in place.

“My absolute pleasure~ Come by soon. I’d love to make more outfits.”

“OF COURSE, MISS MUFFET! THANK YOU!”

They had to leave the clothes there (supposedly it was bad luck for Crop to see the dress beforehand??? And Sugar didn’t want to dirty his own), but Muffet adjusted the ribbon on Horror’s head so it wasn’t tied as tight. It was very nice, he’d have to ask her to make some more…

With a jaunty wave, they left her to her doings, and to Grillby’s for some delicious food…

(“She’s a bully,” Crop whined at the table, his hat halfway off his head, plunked across it like a petulant child. Sugar watched him curiously as Horror scooped up the meat scramble he’d made into a bowl.

“How so? She was nice to us.”

“She liiiikes yooouu,” Crop groaned, plunking his face into the table. “But she pokes and prods at me and asks ‘did you gain a new rib’ and laughs at me when I squirm at her spiders like, trying to get all up in me joints, an’ then she’s all ‘you didn’t go and tear yer new jeans, right?’ and I feel like I’m bein’ interrogated!”

Horror placed the bowl down, raising an eye ridge. “...but you did tear your new pants.”

“Ain’t gonna tell her that,” Crop grumbled, slowly dragging the bowl to him without moving his head. “She’ll scold me, an’ make me stand around an’ get all measured up, and then, then she’ll fuss at me! An’ laugh! Like you’re doing!”

Sugar glanced to his brother who was, indeed, covering his mouth as he started chuckling. Crop sighed, plunking his hat on the table as he slowly dragged himself to sit up. “Guess yer gonna bully me inta dressin’ nice too?”

“Nah,” Horror chuckled, his own hand patting Crop’s head. “I like you like this.” He turned around to get Sugar a bowl of food, not seeing Crop’s blush.

But Sugar did, and it made him smile.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spiders take much pride in their work, like clay makers, blacksmiths, seamstresses...one should thank a spider for the beautiful designs they bring to this world.
> 
> Not too closely, however.
> 
> Some of them are venemous.


End file.
